Thursday, September 27, 2007


Benjamin Disraeli once said that there are three kinds of lies: "lies, damn lies, and statistics." He forgot:

(Sorry, these have nothing to do with one another and I wanted to post them simultaneously.)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Earn $5,000,000,000 from your home! Call now!

This lawsuit makes Mel Gibson's character in Conspiracy Theory look rather normal.

Kwazy Koweans

And they did it all for soccer and technology. It could only be more stereotypical if they spelled it "Victoly!" P.S. - I will never understand why they are using so much English. (Video: 56kers, get a magazine.)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Two disorders courtesy of NYTimes

One of which is altogether benign (in some ways desirable, if you ask me), the other of which is horrifying. Update: Subscription required (free, annoying) for link one (probably link two eventually...)

Things that can be printed

Who knew?

Five Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do

And they can't. (Not-completely-worksafe language.)

Flash version of Oregon Trail

This is the first time I've played this without dying of dysentery. Be kind, pick up hitchers. Bonus: IM between Lauren and me logging the game (edited because no one cares to read everything I write.) Jigga-funny to anyone who knows these characters; stupid otherwise:

  • me: How are you this fine day, Lauren?

  • Lauren: well, chemistry is kkilling me

    the science

  • me: What's up with that?

    I thought you dug "science."

  • Lauren: well this is the one i dont really get

  • me: So, you admit that your IQ is a paltry 187?

    I'm not mad, just disappointed.

    Maybe a Flash version of Oregon trail would help?
    Check it real fast:

    I'm playing the online Oregon Traill...

    And "koavf" is driving with "lauren" shotgun.

    "lunchbox" "pudge" and "gayson" in the back.

    Literally 10 second into the drive, I get this message:

    "lunchbox gets a small fruit candy stuck up a nostril."

    I kid you not.

    I could not make that up.

  • Lauren: you're lying

  • me: Seriously.

    I just got:

    "pudge gets a finger stuck in a pop bottle."

    No joke.

  • Lauren: oh man now that's realistic for ya

  • me: By the way, I will die of dysentery.

  • Lauren: good.

    i knew i could count on you.

  • me: I always died of dysentery in Oregon Trail. ALWAYS.

    I think it's God's way of giving me a hint.

    Newest message:

    "lauren says: 'Hey, check it out, I just found $100 on the ground!"

    Literally true.

  • Lauren: No wAY

  • me: Next message:

    "pudge stuck a hand out of the window while it was hailing and fractured a metacarpal."

  • Lauren: hahahaha

    a metacarpal

  • me: "lauren gets a hand rolled in a window. You'll never hear the end of this. Lose 30 minutes."

    It's like REAL LIFE.

    THIS GAME IS WATCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!11

  • Lauren: HAHAHAHAHA

    i just laughed so hard out loud

    they know our personalities

    keep a log of this game

  • me: Well, I am. Here.


    *sleeps in Grand Island, Nebraska.

    You rested for 13 hours. Again, about right.

  • Lauren: eh, it's usually 13.5

    but close

  • me: Should we join a parking lot turtle race for $5?

  • Lauren: uh YES

  • me: Your turtle wins!

    You won $125!

    gayson gets giardia from drinking too much creek water.

    This is creepy.

  • Lauren: man my hand hurts know...FROM THAT TIME YOU ROLLED THE WINDOW UP ON IT

  • me: Oh noXORZ!

    Hey, maybe you rolled up the window.

    *never hears the end of it


  • Lauren: yeah way to BLAME IT ON SOMEONE ELSE

  • me: *never hears the end of it still.

    We're in Boulder!

    pudge asks a weird question during "Would you rather?", taking things too far again.

    lunchbox gets purple nurple from another car member due to a music disagreement.

    *clearly pudge

    You pass some nasty roadkill. gayson cries. Everyone feels awkward.

    A breath-holding competition is held while going through a tunnel and lauren passes out.

    pudge claims to have seen Big Foot in the distance.


    lauren gets a thigh burn on the hot leather seats

    You've made it to the Atlantis Music Festival, but you are really early. You're going to have to kill some time. Let's check out your score.

    5 ecstatic people - 2500

    82 cash - 82

    6 bags of food - 60

    3 unheard CDs - 15

    0 unused entertainment kits - 0

    772 pellets - 39

    2 spare tires - 20

    2 jumper cables - 10

    1 food items hunted - 1

    0 scenic vistas visited - 0

    competition bonus - 120

    student bonus - 250

    car bonus - 50

    early arrival penalty - -500

    TOTAL: 2647